Breakthrough Life Coach for Women's Issues

One of the things that can cause real problems in the area of communication and leadership is this thing called assumption. When we make an assumption, we jump to form a conclusion about someone or something without solid evidence or proof. We all know that sometimes people and situations aren’t always what they appear to be. A few examples would be:

1. We see a disheveled person and we assume they are homeless or a drunkard.
2. We see a person without a wedding ring on and assume they are single or divorced.
3. We wave at a person and they don’t wave back and we assume they are unfriendly.
4. People from the North are rude.
5. All Southerners lack intelligence.

Assumptions lead us to size up a person or situation almost immediately and can cause us to make erroneous decisions. Sometimes our assumptions are spot on and other times they are way off base and can get us into real trouble. Assumptions that are off base can be a guaranteed way to shut down communication and any new possibilities that might be there for us. Intimate relationships have been destroyed because of assumptions. People have lost and quit jobs because of assumptions.

So, how can we avoid the assumption tap? Here are six great questions to consider the next time you are ready to make a snap decision.

1. Am I judging the situation or person by appearance?
2. Am I mind reading? Do I believe I know exactly what the other person thinks?
3. Do I make assumptions that people should know what I want and need?
4. Do I believe history will always repeat itself?
5. How can I put myself in the others person’s shoes? What might the other person be thinking, feeling and needing at this moment?
6. Am I projecting my issues, baggage from my past on the situation or person?

The next time you are quick to jump to a hasty conclusion maybe you should take a deep breath and ask yourself some questions. What are my assumptions here? Are my assumptions based on fact or presuppositions? Can I put myself in the other person’s shoes and consider what they might feel or need in the situation?

I believe if you will take the time to think about the situation or person you are relating to a little closer and will take the time to examine your own thought processes, you will discover you make less snap judgments and are more open to new experiences, situations and even people you may have simply dismissed before.