Are You Making An Assumption?...

One of the things that can cause real problems in the area of communication and leadership is this thing called assumption. When we make an assumption, we jump to form a conclusion about someone or something without solid evidence or proof. We all know that sometimes people and situations aren’t always what they appear to be. A few examples would be:

1. We see a disheveled person and we assume they are homeless or a drunkard.
2. We see a person without a wedding ring on and assume they are single or divorced.
3. We wave at a person and they don’t wave back and we assume they are unfriendly.
4. People from the North are rude.
5. All Southerners lack intelligence.

Time to Chill Out...

I was reminded of a very important life lesson while waiting in the service area of a car dealership. I couldn’t help but notice a young man who was pacing the floor, complaining and fussing about having to wait over 30 minutes for his car. He seemed to be getting himself all worked up. He had a book but refused to sit down and read it. Everyone else was sitting, reading, watching televison, working on their computer and basically chilling out.

No one likes waiting. I know I am not fond of it. In fact, being impatient is something I know how to do quite well. But I wonder what all this accumulative impatience does for us on a daily basis, weekly basis or in a year’s time? How much do we pay for health-wise for anxiety and mood changes even on a physiological basis? Doctors now even say that 70% of all chronic illness is caused by stress. Wow!

Extreme Thinking: “Black or White, All or No...

Ever met anyone with an all or nothing, black or white approach to life? Thinking in these terms is what is called “polarized thinking”. It basically divides life up into extremes and there is no room for anything in between. Now while there may be times that things are black and white, clearly every situation is not so cut and dry. A person that has extreme thinking not only has a very difficult time seeing any gray to life, they also have a difficult time seeing new or different possibilities.

A person that has an “all or nothing”, “black or white” approach to life can really get stuck when it comes to decision making. I see and hear this all the time with my clients. Important decisions are not made or postponed because things are not perfect. It reminds me of the couple who have big plans to travel for retirement only to get to retirement and not be able to live out their dreams because of bad health, or life issues and problems. Wonder why they didn’t travel along the way?.

Are Your Words Toxic?...

Through the years, most of us have heard the benefits of fasting for our overall health and well-being. We know that backing away from the table can be a good idea not only for our waistline but really can become a form of detoxification. Moving away from the constant need to process and assimilate food gives our bodies a much needed rest and a sense of renewal.

I believe we can apply the principle of fasting to other areas of our life as well as see huge benefits. What would happen if we applied the principle of fasting to our conversation or words? What would be the benefits? What would happen if we were intentional about eliminating toxic words from our vocabulary? I believe our lives would radically change.

Addressing the Lie: My Unhappiness is Someone’s ...

Most of us do want to be happy. The problem is that we are often waiting for someone or some event to happen to make us feel better. I find that true for many of my coaching clients. They seem to be stuck and often feel powerless over situations. Very often they have bought into the lie that a person, a relationship or some external situation is responsible for their happiness or lack of it. If they are unhappy it is because someone else or an event or circumstance is to blame for their lot or predicament. A person that thinks this way severely limits their options in life.